A friend-with-benefits agreement is tempting because of its zero-expectations-and-no-emotions rule.
But as it’s said the strongest drug for a human being is another human being.
It’s not so easy to hold on. To spend beautiful nights with them and wake up every morning with a blank slate. To have sex but not develop feelings.
Relationships get tangled and developing emotions is like a game of potluck, somebody pays the price in the end!
So, what happens if your friend with benefits tries to become someone more than that?
Or when they start thinking of the secret gig as something more real?
Or in simple words when your friends with benefits fall (or start) falling for you?
Does my friends with benefits have feelings for me?
Not sure how to know if your friends with benefits is falling for you? Here are some of the common signs which will help you discover if your FWB partner is catching feelings for you or is it just in your head.
1. It’s different (very different!)
Well, it all starts with those small signs, those little gestures and those awkward moments, which were never there for as long as you can remember. You start wondering,
Do they not want to have some fun?
Why are they caring all of a sudden?
Why do they worry about what people might think, especially after all this time?
So, what’s wrong exactly, why the worry or the ticking alarm in your head?
There’s nothing like before. Emotions are getting in the way and you are just unable to keep-up with the casual-ness.
2. They are not cool with you dating others
The giggle automatically escapes your mouth when your crush sends you a joke. You get a tickle in your stomach when he compliments you.
But then, you notice your friend gets all territorial when you jump around and tell them about your date next week, even if it’s someone you met on tinder… if not your forever epic college crush.
They get all grumpy and weird whenever you talk about not spending the night with them. One can only wonder why?
3. It’s not just about sex anymore
Well, they are around just way too much these days. It’s not just the casual hooking up bit but they find random excuses like even a study date to come knocking on your door.
Sometimes, it just gets too much, constant texts and constant plans, even though the deal was to keep the friendship and the fun separate. No matter what.
Well, it is normal for a human to desire and spend more time with the people they like, so it’s a good thing that you have an alarm in your head!
4. They have started caring about you
The perks of having a friend with benefits was the casual fun and the bond that didn’t intrude on your privacy or raise eyebrows. They were the people you could chill and hookup with, both at the same time.
But it’s not the same anymore. They have been opening doors for you, sending you reminders to eat, and even asking you to sleep. Sometimes they even cancel plans to Netflix and chill, so that you can rest before a test or a workday.
That’s because they care about you more than just the action.
And want you to shine in your career and not just in bed.
5. You both are the new couple-goals
Your friends had no clue about your casual setting because it has always been platonic for the world.
But what do you do when they start getting you coffee, pulling your chair, or sending you notes, it’s like you become the new couple goals for your gang!
It just keeps getting cheesier and corny, something that isn’t a part of your friend with benefits playbook!
6. There’s no place for a third person
They are your secret action buddy. But that’s not it. (at least, not anymore)
Even though you are allowed to freely date others, they tend to avoid other people just because they are not you. That’s new, right?
It definitely becomes so weird when they push every girl away, randomly delete dating apps or don’t leave your side at bars, it’s like you’ve got some sticky gum on you! (yucks!).
Must Read: How to know she is losing interest in you and what you can do about it.
7. Sweet-little-lovely things have replaced the sex
Well, it doesn’t just stop at the niceness. You go over to their place thinking the text was an invite for a booty call but you find them baking dessert and stirring home-cooked pasta for you!
Well, who said friends can’t have a simple movie and food night? They can, but not when it starts happening twice a week and the efforts just don’t stop.
If you don’t feel the same, it is time to step back, for sure!
8. They want to make an impression (romantically!)
It’s not like they have to impress you, they already have the intimacy bit sorted with you.
But, when they like you, they start flaunting their talent, their strength, even their grades if that helps.
They suddenly want you to know how serious they are in life and would do insane things to make it visible.
Still thinking why you’re getting to know all this? Yes, the friendship and the additional benefit is going for a toss.
9. You are not casual anymore
You know about their habits and moods but have never seen them behave so childish or jumpy around you.
It gets so weird when they trip and then blame you for causing it, all while you were standing five feet far. Or when they call you pretty and hit the glass wall in your house, which has been there forever.
You’ve simply become distracting (and special) for them.
10. The sex is ONLY for you
This straight-off defies the whole purpose of a casual relationship.
And even the star advantage of having a friend with benefits.
Even though you are still sleeping with others, your partner says he is not comfortable having sex with others.
If this doesn’t clear all your doubts, I don’t know what will.
11. The silence gets awkward between you two
There has never been a single time when the friend with benefits game plan has let you down. The moments are fun, the times are flexible and you both are always comfortable.
Not now, deep down, the silence starts feeling awkward, the cuddles feel like something more and you can feel something in your gut.
You know, they know, yet nobody is ready to say it out loud, yet.
12. They look at you a lot more often
It’s like the eye contact has gone right from ground zero to cloud nine. They are always looking your way, sneaking glances and throwing you nods, even when you’ve questioned them about it.
You feel like you’re always under their glare but not in a way that means something more, or so you hope.
13. Expectations are getting high
It’s not a secret that your friend with benefit could be falling for you when their expectations go up.
Who thought that remembering occasions or remembering their favourite cuisine before ordering in after hooking up would be important?
Infact, it becomes weirder when they plan surprises and expect you to not feel weird about it. Doing things for you and expecting you to at leastṣ somehow keep-up is the new normal.
If you are equally invested in it, let it flow. Soon, you will be the new hot couple in town!
If not, then that’s a red flag for you.
14. Text messages are not just about the nights
While you usually text them to set up your next encounter, it’s not the same with your partner.
They text you about casual things like “It’s a beautiful day today, isn’t it?’ or ‘I had lunch at Jamie’s today, it was delicious. When the text-game takes a casual turn, you know there’s serious cooking!
After all, you don’t ask how was your day to the casual flings.
15. Compliments are thoughtful and personal
“You look pretty when you laugh!’
“Your eyes look different when you talk about your dreams.”
Wait, what’s that?
Definitely not the type of compliments you expect in a sexual relationship. Compliments are personal only when there’s something serious involved in it.
If this defines your current situationship, then maybe it’s time to put an official title to it.
16. You feel it
Of course, you know what I am talking about.
Those tiny-little moments when you both are lost in each other’s eyes trying to convey something. You know in that moment you have crossed the line drawn with the friends-with-benefits arrangement.
But, hey what’s the harm when you both are in it together!
It’s time to make the call!
It’s okay to be curious, especially when you aren’t looking for anything serious and don’t want your friend to get hurt in the way.
After all, friends first and benefits later, right?
However, if most of the boxes stand ticked, get on your bandwagon, have a conversation, and untie the knot before the anchor pulls you in deep!
It’s okay and natural that your friend with benefits has fallen for you.
But it’s more than ever okay for you to let it go and save yourself the emotional trouble.
You know, just in case, it can be a possibility that you like them back, go celebrate the victory and enjoy the time while it lasts.
The magic that brings two souls together is rarely found, so if you have bumped into it, save the charm and launch the ship!
- Does my friends with benefits have feelings for me?
- 1. It’s different (very different!)
- 2. They are not cool with you dating others
- 3. It’s not just about sex anymore
- 4. They have started caring about you
- 5. You both are the new couple-goals
- 6. There’s no place for a third person
- 7. Sweet-little-lovely things have replaced the sex
- 8. They want to make an impression (romantically!)
- 9. You are not casual anymore
- 10. The sex is ONLY for you
- 11. The silence gets awkward between you two
- 12. They look at you a lot more often
- 13. Expectations are getting high
- 14. Text messages are not just about the nights
- 15. Compliments are thoughtful and personal
- 16. You feel it
- It’s time to make the call!