Love, a fleeting emotion, comes anytime and anywhere without a warning signal. It’s like a beacon that enters the room even if the door is shut. One may not realize but the heart does understand that it has fallen for somebody.

This is how I got to know love can happen anywhere, anytime!

There was this friend of mine and her fiancé, and I sort of played the role of cupid for them. They both started as friends with benefits, but they didn’t realize when they made a shift from being sexual partners to eventually becoming each other’s emotional support.

So it started like this, that my friend couldn’t get out of a difficult breakup in 2 years. On my birthday eve, we decided to go out to a party where she met this guy. Equally attracted to each other and had sort of similar hard breaks, they decided to hook-up

They were having a gala time with each other but soon, the dynamics changed. It wasn’t just about sex, but much more. Unaware of their feelings, they still called each other hook-up partners’ cum best friends.

Finally, when my friend had this tiny accident and the boy pampered her like a baby. That’s when I knew that it wasn’t just hookup anymore, they both were emotionally invested but neither would care to admit.

Why do we turn blind eye to those clear signals that clearly say we are much more than friends-with-benefits to the other person? I hope you don’t take so long and understand signs that are coming your way and then decide your future accordingly. 

So, let’s begin!

1. They prioritize you over anyone else

Don’t worry about my friend’s birthday party. You’re going through a difficult time and I need to be with you.”

If your hookup places you at number one priority, there is hardly any doubt that he has feelings for you. Do you think you’d miss out your best friend’s birthday bash to support a person you randomly have sex with? (If you ask me, definitely not!)

Okay, by the way, why would you call your hookup instead of your best friend in difficult times, if you don’t have feelings for them? (Hmm! Time to realize that you are at the same place as they are!)

2. Texts/Calls you regularly

Texts/Calls-you-regularly
Photo by Alexandre Boucher on Unsplash

If your phone regularly beeps by their texts or calls, you know they are making an effort to be in constant touch with you. The urge to talk to them regularly wouldn’t knock if they are just your friends with benefits.

Put in the effort and try to make them spill their beans, wouldn’t it be fun to have them feel weak on their knees?

(Aah! To date a person that I also love having sex with is the coolest thing on earth.)

3. Jealousy is on the move! 😉

Do you realize, your office colleague is hitting on you? Just saying, you should stay a little away from her.” (A little? *winking eyes *)

If you notice your hookup getting jealous very frequently these days, but trying to be indifferent, you know they are giving their best to suppress their emotions but don’t gestures do all the talking?

Look on to their face and decide, whether it’s going red because of anger.

4. Introduces you to their family

Why on earth would I introduce my hookup partner to my family? Doesn’t even fit right.

Not when you don’t have real feelings!

Your hookup is seeing more than just being friends with benefits with you if they are introducing you to family. Notice if they are also trying to know more about your family members to cast a good impression on them.

5. Makes you a part of their friends’ circle

Makes-you-a-part-of-their-friends-circle
Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash

Hookups aren’t permanent relationships; hence if they include you in their friends’ circle, there is something more brewing in their head.

Haven’t their friends already started teasing you both? (I’m sure some hush-hush talks must be going around. You just need to make a note!)

6. They ask you about your personal life

How was your last relationship? Why did you guys break up?”

“Do you plan to continue this job or start freelancing?”

Do hookups bother anything more than sensual sex? If they are taking interest in your personal life, ask you a billion questions about the past, future, and want to live the present with you, you certainly aren’t just friends with benefits!

Stop fooling yourself.

7. They are vulnerable in front of you

They may be capable of keeping things bottled up in front of the world, but you? If you have seen their vulnerable sides, heard their darkest secrets, given a shoulder to them to lean on, you know, you mean much more than a sexual being to them.

Why are you waiting for them to ask you out? Go ahead and admit your love. (Of course, only if you feel the same.)

8. Does the tiny-little things to make you happy

Getting you your favourite chocolates or going to your favourite restaurant; they’ll do whatever is conceivable to make you happy. In the blink of an eye, they will be ready to walk the extra mile if that makes your smile reach your eyes.

Does a hookup partner ever take so much initiative if they don’t truly admire you? (Honestly, I don’t think so!)

9. Not just nights, they are around even in the mornings

Not-just-nights-they-are-around-even-in-the-mornings
Photo by Alejandra Quiroz on Unsplash

It’s fascinating about waking up close to somebody you care about after you’ve spent the entire night together. It somewhere indicates that they are hoping to spend those cozy morning hours with you and are in no hurry to leave.

Here’s a suggestion: When you find your hookup doing such adorable things for you, keep them a little closer. Let both of you know each other well. There’s no harm in taking things ahead if your heart agrees to it.

10. They care for you (Watch out!)

Don’t drink too much. It makes you feel sick most of the time.”

“You haven’t eaten anything. Let’s grab our favourite pizzas first.”

When you start to feel their warmth and care, you know you’re starting to occupy a special place in their heart.

11. It’s not all about sex.

It's-not-all-about-sex
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

When sexual pleasures are not the ulterior motive to meet you, you know you have them more than just as FWB. Have you guys spent a night together cuddling each other to sleep rather than going to sleep after having had core sex?

12. They’re nervous around you.

Previously, they maintained a calm composure around you. In any case, presently, you notice that their conduct has changed. They become anxious and restless around you. There’s a sincere motivation behind why they’re acting this way, they like you.

13. Conversations are more from the heart

…and less about sex!

When somebody doesn’t care about you, they’ll just focus on things that benefit themselves. Yet, if somebody has affection for you, they’ll recollect the little subtleties. That is because they listen to you and of course, they’ve developed strong feelings for you.

(Don’t we all desire to have a good listener around us? If you’re getting one, you’re lucky!)

14. Movie and ice-cream dates are a thing

Movie-and-ice-cream-dates-are-a-thing
Photo by Denise Jans on Unsplash

Hookups ideally are just within the 4 walls of your bedroom. 

So, the minute you step out and sign up for movie dates, you know there’s something more. 

The small talks turn into deep conversations, sex nights turn into movie cuddles – if that doens’t say you something, I don’t know what will. 

Nobody wants to be seen in public with people they are not serious about. 

15. Lastly, you’ll see them dropping hints for you!

Uhm! Hey, don’t we really look good together?”

“My friends always tell me I should date you.”

They might not have the boldness to let you know outright that they like you, yet they will drop obvious hints about how they feel. Perhaps they’ll make future plans with you or abstain from discussing other potential dating partners or simply express how happy they feel around you. In any case, they’ll try and grab your attention.

Hey, hooked partners!

I know, you must be feeling muddled up. But let me tell you, it’s all in the eyes. Their eyes will do all the talking and you would know that your gut feeling that they have fallen for you is true.

You just need to give some time, pay attention to small details, and understand your own feelings. 

If you feel she is the ONE for you, you can always choose to be the first one to express your love.

And if not, 

Try to talk it out and see if you both can mutually get back to the casual zone. 

But if the chances for a turn-around is nil, it’s better to end the arrangement before things complicate further. 

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