I often get asked how to find a Vietnamese girl for dating. Many men are attracted to their modesty, patience, and visual appeal, but do they truly understand what dating a Vietnamese girl entails? I have discovered a lot of interesting facts about local dating culture, so MEN, get surprised now, not to face unexpected challenges when you already start looking for a girlfriend there.
Dating Vietnamese women vs Western girls: What’s the difference
The things we can see in modern Vietnamese dating culture have been greatly influenced by Confucian studies. Only several decades ago, dating didn’t exist in Vietnam since parents chose partners for their children. However, globalization and wider access to information have changed a lot in dating Vietnamese girls, too.
PDA isn’t a good idea
If you compare dating in Western societies and Vietnam, you may see that Western people consider kissing and intercourse a must in any relationship, but you can’t tell the same about Vietnam. PDA is highly disapproved of in the country, and even the desire to promote it. The introduction of a funny contest, “Public Kissing Contest Shut Down in Hai Phong” in 2011, was recognized as a bad influence of the West on Vietnamese dating culture.
Premarital sex isn’t common
The attitude to premarital sex is also different in these societies. A survey in the US made back in 2002 showed that 95% of Americans had premarital sex, while this number in Vietnam in 2011 was only 10%! A 2023 analysis reports that almost 90% of Americans have had sex before marriage. This is consistent with long-standing norms, despite other changes such as later marriages and rising rates of cohabitation. In Vietnam, premarital sex remains low.
Dating is defined in a unique way
In general, single Vietnamese girls consider dating as a time they spend with men to see what kind of person they are. Americans don’t need much time to start dating, but in Vietnam, it may take from 1 to 2 months on average to start dating officially.
One more peculiarity of Vietnamese dating is the indirect approach. People usually spend a lot of time texting before they meet in real life. Moreover, a guy asks if a girl has a boyfriend before he starts to pursue her.
Shift towards serious relationships
It isn’t a secret that Western couples can have breaks in relationships and date others, but relationships in Vietnam are characterized as serious and defined. Many girls even hide their boyfriends from their parents at the dating stage, since introduction is always the first step to marriage!
Luckily, young people in high school are strongly affected by American and Korean culture, so they connect and get together more easily. Moreover, many Vietnamese men want to meet Korean women for dating instead.
What’s hiding behind a Vietnamese woman’s modesty?
The culture and traditions have influenced the personalities of single Vietnamese ladies and their attitude to dating. The key lies in the Confucian beliefs and the Virtues to be possessed by women. The latter one should achieve the following goals:
- Serving her family
- Being good at household duties
- Being able to attract her husband through grace and femininity
- Not being suggestive to other men
- Having quiet speech
- Showing a submissive position
- Being faithful and obedient
The key characteristic men were looking for when they wanted to meet Vietnamese singles was preserving their virginity before marriage. It’s a primary standard in evaluating female morality, so many ladies still adjust to this principle.
Local dating strategies & Things that don’t work
I think that men who want to meet Vietnamese women should prepare for this experience. These are the most effective solutions to try, as well as a range of things that are considered unacceptable:
- Single Vietnamese women want to meet a partner who is faithful, honest, and understanding.
- Local girls disapprove of men’s boasting, showing off their wealth, or losing their temper.
- Don’t touch a woman’s head since it’s considered a sacred body part.
- Prepare a gift for your girlfriend since it’s a sign of respect and appreciation.
- Don’t approach a girl in the street. It’s better to get her phone or social media profile and start interacting online.
- Remember that the guy should pay for a girl.
- Prepare for serious conversations since Vietnamese ladies want to see if their values coincide with the man’s.
- Take it slow. Vietnamese girlfriends need time to feel comfortable around their boyfriend and get to know him better.
- Meet girls easily on Vietnamese dating sites. Over 65% of the local population uses online dating services.
Tips to consider for your date to be not the last one
Foreign men often think that dating a Japanese woman or a lady of any other Asian nationality is the same. However, if you want to find a Vietnamese girl, first of all, and impress her on the first date, it’s better to stick to the following rules:
- Choose a suitable place for a romantic date. The most popular destinations are coffee shops, cinemas, parks, dancing out, and other places.
- Don’t hurry to kiss your object of affection. The survey where people were asked if they had ever kissed someone romantically showed that 49% reported yes (and it was mainly a cheek kiss), and 42% refused to do that.
- Don’t wear clothes that are revealing or open. Local people tend to cover their shoulders and legs in public places.
- Prepare a bouquet of flowers and a present for her family. Gift-giving is a popular tradition in this country.
- Avoid staring at your mobile phone in her presence. It shows disrespect and won’t be appreciated by your match.
- Be honest and open. If flirting is acceptable in dating a Chinese girl, Vietnamese ladies prefer to discuss more serious topics, especially to discover each one’s personalities.
Insights into Vietnamese intimacy culture
Men who meet Vietnamese girls want to be close with them at the physical level, too. However, it’s not as simple as it may seem at first glance. I have found out several important facts about intimacy in this country for every man to keep in mind:
- Sexuality is a taboo topic for many women. Confucianism resulted in establishing a negative view of sex, calling it ‘social evil’. The only way for women to express sexuality is to be a loyal wife and give birth to children. There’s no good sexual education in the country – the only alternative is a morality education or anatomy, where students are taught to ‘tame’ their animal instincts.
- Intimacy isn’t a basis of romantic relationships. They’re more likely to look for compassionate relationships where both partners share emotions, first of all.
- Younger ladies may show a greater desire for love and sex, but they face pressure from men who are rather conservative, suppress their feelings, and hide their true thoughts.
- Men take initiative in intimate relationships. According to Confucian beliefs, women shouldn’t know anything about sex and should follow the man’s lead. Contraceptive methods aren’t very popular since sex takes place only in serious relationships and often after a wedding.
- Premarital sex isn’t very common. Only 37% of young ladies believe that premarital sex is acceptable if a couple is going to marry or when both partners consent. 50% of ladies won’t agree on premarital sex, which they consider unethical.
- Cohabitation, known as Sống thử, is also disapproved by 47% of people. It’s acceptable for 18% of women.
- Women get sexual information from different sources. The most common ones are the Internet, friends, and movies.
Dating a girl from Vietnam is connected with many unexpected situations and discoveries, but all of them make a cross-cultural romantic experience more adventurous and exciting!
